Kenyon Film Society Allstus
Fall 2001
Back to KFS Allstu Archive Main Page.
There are some things that you just shouldn't sell at Toys-R-Us.
-Zapatista dolls.
-RESERVOIR DOGS action figures with detachable ears.
-Dolls made entirely of densely-packed cocaine.
For two of those three, you'll have to go to Mexico. Until then...
KFS PRESENTS:
TRAFFIC.
SATURDAY, 8 PM.
HIGLEY AUDITORIUM.
We good folks of KFS also don't advocate didactic color symbolism, but we'll have to give Oscar-winning director
Steven Soderbergh some leeway, considering the ambition behind one of the most widely-acclaimed films of 2000.
Besides, we've already given him enough grief for Julia Roberts and her WonderBra.
Though lacking a single plague of frogs, TRAFFIC does boast a double-digit array of characters and three overlapping
story arcs, all centering around one common theme:
Drugs are bad, mmmmkay? You shouldn't use drugs.
We will refrain from further commentary about whether or not this message has any implications for why one of the
stars of TFAFFIC, raving-idiot Catherine Zeta-Jones, couldn't tell the difference between Jay Leno and David Letterman.
If Steven Soderbergh were God, Jay and Dave would have different colored light filters to make sure Catherine could
figure out which coast she's on.
In that world, of course, it would also be possible for a young woman who looks like the theoretical mating of
Julia Stiles and Reese Witherspoon to go from a straight-A honor-student to a crackwhore in a span of 36 hours,
and Eric Forman would have an incredibly foul mouth and a nasty coke fix.
As is, we'll settle for the fact that parts of TRAFFIC were filmed in C-Town!
You hear that? C-Town!
We'll take "Giraffes" for a billion,
Jonathan and Seth, the KFS czars.
(Prepare yourselves. These are only going to get worse.)
Ah, my most generous Fellow Students,
I Owe you an apology, for having to send this email out of my account, my own personal account, and not the KFS'
account, the account where this should be coming from, for I do not have the resources to get into it, not at this
point. But aye, this is a KFS email, true, a haggard one, not so garnished and full as the old one, and I am already
in your debt for not sending an email for NURSE BETTY. I hope that this,
RAGING BULL
Dir. Martin Scorsese
Higley Auditorium
Wednesday
10:15
is worthy enough for your pardon. The best things in life cost lots of money, and I could only bring you this film,
which won, like, too many awards to list, yes, yes, and is part of the KFS' Martin Scorsese week (well, Two films).
Set in the mid-19000's, it follows the career of boxer Jake LaMotta, a man who is put in great strain by his insecurities,
that eat away at him, eat away at his soul, which he exorcises in the ring, but who is noticeably well on the way
to spiritual bankruptcy. Oh! we, the KFS, cannot express to you the sheer magnitude of this film in mere words
or descriptions of big-time canonized actor Robert De Niro or also revered and worshipped director Martin Scorsese,
the latter of whom used this film as a great Rehabilitation, after an escalating drug problem caused him many a
crisis. Oh, and sometimes we the KFS
feel like gardeners, prodding at the depleted reservoirs, trying with mere words and such to cause to blossom a
fully-functional garden in such a draught, oh why have we no color in our thumbs?
Broken down and weeping,
Johnathan and Seth
tender tenders of the KFS
Yeah. You know how practically every B-list celebrity thinks it's
just hilarious to do that whole "You talkin' t'me? Are YOU talkin' t'me?" bit, particularly when hosting
Saturday Night Live?
Well, we have the real thing, and it isn't at all lame.
KFS.
TAXI DRIVER.
TONIGHT, 8 PM.
HIGLEY AUDITORIUM.
Robert DeNiro is a serious badass, and that little troll Ben Stiller definitely wouldn't talk about milking a cat
in front of taxi driver Travis Bickle, because he'd end up getting his skull bashed in.
Depending on whom you ask, TAXI DRIVER is either director Martin Scorsese's graphic depiction of Hell or just a
damn fine case study in why it's generally a bad idea to get in the way of an increasingly deranged Vietnam vet.
Those aren't necessarily mutually exclusive, but you can decide for yourself.
The young, nubile Jodie Foster is also in TAXI DRIVER. So is Harvey Keitel, and, to the best of my recollection,
he isn't traipsing around naked.
How good is this movie? Not even the typically clueless American Film Institute could leave it out of their "100
Greatest Films" list. And that says quite a lot.
The alienated, disaffected mind is a scary thing. And, somehow, the IMDb thinks that if you like this film, you'll
love BOOGIE NIGHTS.
Waiting for rain to clean the scum from the sidewalks,
Jonathan and Seth.
Yeah. I really don't think it would be appropriate to try to write
one of our typically funny allstus, considering the volume of hatemail those usually generate anyway.
But the movie we're showing tonight is more than funny enough to make up for a dry allstu:
KFS
BEST IN SHOW
10:15 PM
HIGLEY AUDITORIUM
Written and directed by Christopher Guest (WAITING FOR GUFFMAN), and featuring the likes of Parker Posey, Michael
McKean, Eugene Levy, and Catherine O'Hara. Yeah. It's hilarious and only tangentially about dog shows.
Sometimes escapism works,
Jonathan and Seth!
I intrepid leader of the KFS bring to you tomorrow might the movie
that was scheduled for next Saturday. This film is
IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT
Dir. Frank Capra
Saturday, September 15
8:00
Higley Auditorium
This here is a screwball comedy starring Clark Gable (Dance, Fool, Dance (1931)) and this man munches a carrot
in this film and--presto, Bugs Bunny is complete. Ellie Andrews--rebelious child of wealth--dives off her father's
yacht after marriage and hits the road where she meets Clark Gable, who is apparently mnching on a carrot so as
to further the development of Bugs Bunny, unbeknownst to her and Clark Gable and Frank Capra, etc, who is a reporter
looking for a story. But I'd really rather swing this conversation back to myself.
Seth and Johnathan.
Dear Kenyon,
These emails, they are not like they used to be. On Friday I will try to redeem us, the once proud members of the
Kenyon Film Society, with a sparkling new email, which will give you a chuckle, warm your hearts, move you onwards,
upwards. But not now, because it is bothersome.
So.
HAROLD AND MAUDE
Dir. Hal Ashby
Wednesday, Sept. 26
Higley Auditorium
10:15 PM
This, Aileen Minihan's favorite film, Hal Ashby's second feature. This heartwarming film covers the experience
of a kid around the age of the average Kenyon Student (but not the average Kenyon Film Society President, which
is much greater. and, dare I say it, nobler) who fakes his own suicide in many various ways in front of his mother,
and his morbid fascinations, his despair, his disdain for love and his mother This, predictably, is the Harold
character, not to be confused with the Maude character, an spry and vivacious 79 year-old he meets at a funeral
that he is attending, who is quite different from Harold's usual pace. Oh this email is no good I have failed,
but I don't care. Your influence and opinion do not sway me.
We have given you our hearts, and what have you done?
Seth, Jonathan, and Aileen
Eskimo.
Gently with a chainsaw,
Jonathan and Seth!
The same cannot be said, alas, for Parker Posey and Liev Schrieber.
Pity, too, seeing how the two of them constitute both redeeming qualities of that particular movie.
For the record, KFS isn't showing SCREAM 3, either.
Instead, we have another Parker Posey & Liev Schreiber vehicle.
KFS
THE DAYTRIPPERS
TONIGHT, 10:15 PM
HIGLEY AUDITORIUM
KFS kicks off its first-ever "Parker Posey Week" (not intended in any way to detract from her performance
seen earlier this semester in BEST IN SHOW) with THE DAYTRIPPERS, one of the intelligent little comedies that lead
to her earning the title of "Indie Queen."
Posey plays a young woman whose father may or may not be cheating on her mother; the family takes a day trip into
NYC, trying to catch him in the act. Schreiber plays her boyfriend, a pretentious young writer-- y'know... the
type who, infuriatingly, thinks of waterfountains and could go for weeks, honestly, without comparing anything
to silk.
It's funny, and it'll make a nice little study break.
Not-so-fond of Jenny McCarthy,
Jonathan and Seth!
When discussing
BRAZIL
Dir. Terry Gilliam. Writers: Terry Gilliam and Tom Stoppard
Wednesday, October 10
Higley Auditorium
10:15,
this exchange followed:
Seth: What do you think of when you think of Brazil?
Caleb Wilson: well. lots of superlatives. creepiest mask in a movie. most surreal funeral. funniest facial surgery
jokes.
Seth:yes, that is very good. Go on, I am intrigued. I have seen the movie, many a time, but your words, how they
tempt me.
Caleb Wilson: most annoying telephones
Caleb Wilson: ever
Caleb Wilson: least efficient repair service.
Seth: you wow me
Caleb Wilson: most interesting flying sequence
Caleb Wilson: most violent nuns
Seth: halt
Caleb Wilson: hmm?
Seth: hmm?
Caleb Wilson: what?
This goes on for awhile, turning into a mature exchange with profound and witty dicusion, as I inquire also about
Caleb's trip back, his stop at Mammoth Cave
So, do not ask me if you should come see this film, Kenyon. I will answer only yes, if I am merciful. It is in
my top 10, often seen in my top 5.
Former Monty Python animator and director of 12 Monkeys and Fear And Loathing... had this, his biggest hit , back
in 1985, which caused a ruckus in the studio, a big media battle, and finally got canonized. It is a journey through
Sam Lowry's incredibly buerocratic world, which he is both mired in and then torn from by a mysterious, suspicious
woman, who almost links his waking world to that of his fantastic dream world, which is at complete odds with the
overly technical, constantly malfuctioning society that surrounds him, as the film probes how much room there is
for an individual in an all-encompassing order, even a terminally flawed order. Hopefully we'll get the director's
cut for this one. If not, rest assured that it is NOT the Love Conquers All version. There's a whole book about
this if you're interested in researching it further. Which I recommend, more than I do Dude, Where's My Car. This
film stars Jonathan Pryce, Michael Palin, Robert De Niro, Kim Greist, and Katherine Helmond.
Some people just can't stomach orange juice that hasn't had the pulp
removed. Similarly, some people can't stomach tonight's movie.
KFS.
A CLOCKWORK ORANGE.
8 PM.
HIGLEY AUDITORIUM.
Another masterpiece by Stanley Kubrick, A CLOCKWORK ORANGE definitely isn't what you'd call a "crowd-pleaser,"
unless you were referring to a crowd of droogs who are generally pleased by dark irony and graphic violence. Arguably
one of the best films ever made. Are those two qualifications mutually exclusive? We think not.
Not fond of whole milk, either,
Jonathan and Seth.
And so it came to pass that Wednesday, October 17, in Higley Auditorium,
a film would be shown. This would be AUTUMN TALE, or, in its original French, AUTUMN TALE in French. Daniel Lavenda
thought to himself "oh, a French film. I am not French, yet French film I know, as I do the French language.
I am glad that Seth Kaplan pawned the poster off to me, it makes me satisfied with existence. Perhaps this French
film, as many French films, is beautifully filmed, and is artsy. I, an artsy man, well-versed in the ways of film,
will watch this film. I must watch this film, it is my destiny, and I cannot be stopped. By god, it's 10:15"
Perhaps Daniel Lavenda did not think the last bit, as I, a horribly unobjective KFS film president, has put it
into his mouth, a shameless plug for our humble movie by ERIC ROHMER, at !!10:20!! in Higley. Mike McMahan thinks
to himself, "those bastards still have my Brazil DVD, one in a set of three. I must strike with vengeful might."
Daniel Lavenda comes to the film, at the same time as Mike McMahon. Jumping out of his Saab, Daniel lunges for
the entrance, and finds himself immobile, pressed betweeen doorway and Mike McMahon. Mike McMahon stops enraged,
because he cannot advance enraged, pressed between doorway and Daniel Lavenda. Sensing the oncoming conflagration,
we the terrified presidents of the KFS fight each other to get to the Higley computer to send a desperate message
of help to the campus, but severely maim each other in the process, in which Seth must type his cry for help with
his out-of-place nose. Which comes out as, "hfrelp nthere naqere masniacal peroiple herle,,. a swybjectivfe
baccoyunt,yes, your humble arrator digs thsat much-" and then stops with the collapse of Higley.
If anyone is going to type on the second computer in the second to last row in the Peirce computer lab, realize
that I have manipulated its keys with my nose for the sake of legitimacy,
Seth and Jonathan
Well, here I am in the Red Door, waiting for my mother, who is coming
this weekend. And, also thinking about the KFS and not Immanuel Kant, the circumstances led me inevitably to tell
you about
ROSEMARY'S BABY
Saturday, October 27
Higley Auditorium
8:00
It's not that there is anything wrong with memysoul is on fire and i have blood on my hands i cannot help my hands
from convulsing in hateor that my mother is named Rosemary--she's not, she's named Ritaevilvarmits from hell rip
at m flesh and make me do unspeakable things with the most ordinary everyday household objectsbut I thought, baby,
mother, you follow the line of thoughtweaselsin the bushes tell me to keeeeell you!!!. This is after I thought
of the KFSKookyfurious spirits scream piercing cowabungas at your immortal yet fallible soulOUT DAMMED FIEND I
CLAIM THIS BODY FOR THE HOLY KINGDOM WHICH NEEDS CLEANINGleading me back to my high responsibilities as KFS presidentfuhrer
fuhrer mein fuhrer fuhren Sie mich to the toasty fires belowEVIL WILL NEVER TRIUMPH WHEN I HAVE SMITING POWERS
LIKE SOas I was saying, this KFS film is extraalsdgldfkahadfklhnealhneal owgoddammitOWOW *extra spooky^ to get
yer Halloween reved up rightreeeee I whupup on sissypowers of good with sharpclaws, armpit odors, Mike Featherstone,
12-tone scalesSMITE!SMITE! featuring *extra spooky* tthings, like *Mia Farrow* and *the 70's* oooooooohoooooooooooooosilly
mortal comebackhere don't talk to him DONOT LISTEN TO SUCH TRIPE, SING CAMP SONGS, BASK IN THE LIGHT OF WO|MAN'S
REASON, PRACTICE CULTURAL RELATIVISMgrowyour hair long, playlots of power chordsSUPPORT THE FINE ARTS, VOTE IN
STATE AND FEDERAL ELECTIONSmakepretentious artfilms with lots of nudity andviolence, eatlots of sugarWATER YOUR
GARDEN, ACT ONLY ON THAT MAXIM WHEREBY THOU CANST AT THE SAME TIME WILL THAT IT SHOULD BECOME A UNIVERSAL LAW.
LOVEhate,
SethandbeelzebubandGABRIELand Jonathan
Even if you've never seen an actual episode of "Star Trek,"
just imagine how scary all of those Priceline.com commercials would be if someone took William Shatner's head and
stretched it out, then spray-painted it white.
Not that his spoken-word ramblings about grocery shopping aren't scary enough in their own right.
It turns out that "stalking Jamie Lee Curtis" is a more effective use of a spray-painted William Shatner
head:
KFS.
HALLOWEEN.
TONIGHT, 10:15 PM.
HIGLEY AUDITORIUM.
Today is Halloween. We're showing the movie HALLOWEEN. ON Halloween. Get it?
It's scheduling so "anti-clever" that it's almost circled back around to being "clever" again!
And, unlike its never-ending series of lame-ass sequels, the original HALLOWEEN isn't gory, so all of you with
weak stomachs will be a-okay sitting through it.
Brain candy is good for you, and we promise that we won't be showing VALENTINE on Valentine's Day.
Firing 8 shots from a 6-shooter,
Jonathan and Seth!
So. In his new movie K-PAX, Kevin Spacey actually swallows an unpeeled
banana, which raises all sorts of unsettling questions about the practices of so-called "method acting."
Maybe all of K-PAX's special effects budget went into that particular scene, but, somehow, we doubt that.
It's Kevin Spacey, after all. He's a little off.
We have a much better example of method acting tonight, anyway.
KFS.
POLLOCK.
8 PM.
HIGLEY AUDITORIUM.
It's Ed Harris, and he's re-creating Jackson Pollock paintings! And it's just really damn cool to watch Ed Harris
"action paint." He perfectly captures Jackson Pollock's remarkable talents for painting the life-like
kittens, rainbows, butterflies, and ponies running free across the open plains that made Pollock one of America's
most significant artists.
He's brooding and tortured and drunk and belligerrent, and he does so much more than merely chucking a plate of
asparagus across a room. He doesn't deep-throat a banana, though, which is likely the reason Ed Harris didn't win
an Oscar for this movie.
Best kept away from the fingerpaints,
Jonathan and Seth.
Well, that's not entirely true. We're actually leaving that up to
Russell Crowe. And he doesn't even need a sword or falling rose petals as accessories this time around. He's still
quite badass, although tonight's movie is officially part of "AL PACINO is a Bad-Ass Week."
KFS
THE INSIDER
8 PM
HIGLEY AUDITORIUM
Although we can't say that we're fond of thetruth.com and their pretentious series of commercials / stunt performances
(although we are fond of the daughter of the guy who founded thetruth.com. She's a kenyon student, by the way),
it's definitely satisfying to see the tobacco industry get shot down.
THE INSIDER's a damn fine movie, too. It's a movie that both smokers and non-smokers can enjoy, so long as they
aren't stupid. It's a smart-person movie. A smart-person movie with Russell Crowe. Hence, THE INSIDER is not GLADIATOR.
Only one of those two Russell Crowe movies should be a Best Picture winner. Guess which one!
Fans of the Handsome Boy Modeling School's new single,
Jonathan and Seth
In celebration of the rebuilding of the Country Music Hall of Fame,
we are proud to show a movie that, though set before my conception, and made before it, alludes to my future presence
in the great rolling fields of
NASHVILLE
Dir. Robert Altman
Wednesday, Nov. 14
Higley Auditorium
10:17
Set right after the JFK assassination and during the Vietnam war, when there was no great cysts in the Nashville
landscape such as that damn Bellsouth (batman) building, or the football stadium, and Opry/Shopryland, an independent
candidate runs for office for the "Replacement Party", a party that suggests banning lawyers from congress,
rewriting the national anthem, etc. This is all background, however, as a cast of characters about equal to the
Nashville population at that time, not now, as it is at least touching a million, due to the onslaught of big businesses
with poorly built buildings in Brentwood that are either garish or just plain ugly, go about their intersecting
lives, marriages falling apart, beauty queen losing it, and more that the IMDB has not told me about. If you study
this film very closely, you will be able to glean undertones of "Seth", you will sense a great rumbling
near Vanderbilt hospital, signs and foreshadowing. Whether or not Altman had it consciously in his mind or was
merely manifesting what was gaining prominence in the discourse around him makes no real difference, as it is apparent
what would come to be in a matter of years. I have spent a vast amount of time going through all of the small details,
the allusions in the speech of the characters, the visual symbols, et cetera, clearing my mind of bias, watching
how intricately all the clues match up, how the answer is always being waved in front of you very subtly, as in
"The Usual Suspects", and it is all there, I tell you I am fairly convinced that Altman was extremely
aware of this theme when he was making this film, as my parents had moved to Nashville by then and were becoming
part of the swarm of information at that time. We should hail not only Altman's artistry or his brilliance, but
also his prophetic vision.
Representing,
Seth and Jonathan
Dear Kenyon Community, fellow members of the KFS, members of Helpline
with access to the KFS account, maverick hackers with the know-how to break into it, certain agencies with the
authority to get into it if we say "anthrax" too many times,
We, that is, Jonathan and Seth, the SAC, Jeremy and Kyle, your parents, our parents, big-hearted or possibly wretchedly
guilty-hearted alums with mad scrilla, President Oden, the consent or general ignorance of the faculty, and numerous
other historical factors have come together to bring you
THE COOK, THE THIEF, HIS WIFE, AND HER LOVER
Dir. Peter Greenaway (Of Prospero's Books fame, for the IPHSers or general fans of nudity, John Gielgud, or certain
combinations of these)
WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 28
Higley Auditorium
10:15-ish
I'm not quite sure if it's the edited version, or the uncut version, or the cut version with subtitles, but this
film, starring Michael Gambon, Helen Mirren, Tim Roth, Richard Bohringer, Alan Howard, Gary Olson, F. Scott Fitzgerald,
Mel Blanc, Hildegard of Bingenasdlgnawlasdghasrh by Peter Greenaway, but probably with influences from Federico
Fellini, John Waters, Sigmund Freud, Hieronymous Bosch, Johnathan Swift, Kirk Douglas, the ASPCA, Alphonse Mouzon,
MC Solaar, Archimedes, J-Lo, photosynthetic flora and fauna, dukakis dukakis dukakis Iceberg Slimrjaghsesrnralasdraw;;wqin
1941, Hannah Arendt flees to New York with her husband Heinrich Blucher, divali celebrated first year after return
of Lord Rama from exile, knights move in L-shapes not Q, elvis is the statethere is no cheese left in the fridge
my ulcer is bleeding essence existence signifier signified anI'msuper;badchuckd;90'sguitarrockhairmetalANTHRAXANTHRAXANTHRAXeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeee
I apologize for the sudden outpouring of trivia that I have let spill out here, the amount of information completely
irrelevant to the film on Wednesday by Peter Greenaway, and Tim Roth, and aaerhjaerjh anyway, it is a dazzling
film, also quite hard to take for some, as those who have seen Prospero's Books have seen the more subtle side
of Peter Greenaway, and Tim Roth and lasrghdalrhadfl. His rich shots, his use of color, his off-kilter humour,
nudity, dismembered bodies, excrement, Tim Rothalsdghalsdhg. Apparently, there is some allegorical nod to Margaret
Thatcher, and Ronald Reagan, and Tim Rothalsdgjasldh. Sorry! Sorry! It concerns the story of a thief and his wife
and a cook and the lover of the wife of the thief who is a customer in the restaurant of the cook who aided the
relationship between the wife and the customer who is her lover, the wife of my lover is Hannah Arendt, while I
Lord Rama exile Mel Blanc, i exile you to higley, Q, ED! book no stretch! cover me, CNN, I am jaundicesdriouahjalk.
The praise I've heard for this film is "an English David Lynch" "a modern Hieronymous Bosch"
and "disgusting". However, if you ask my friend William, his ex-girlfriend, Randy "Macho Man"
Savage, Dave Thomas, John Thomas, John Spragens, Howard Sacks, Oliver Sacks, the Frankfurt School, Lao-tzu, W.E.B.
Du Bois, Cal Ripkens, his majesty king funk, twelve angry men, roberta the knack, essence of eucalyptus, myrmidons
of disco, milton-keynes, robbespierre, eeweasals eat my flesh out my hand my fish my beautiful fish the act of
being polite dollarsandcents;senselesssnorting;ruthlesshairmetalANTHRAXANTHRAXANTHRAXdfkhna
dflhjadflhadfhadfhaf;;
the chances of a successful game of trivial pursuit seem to be darkening.
Seth Jonathan
the staff of Mojo magazine william wallace nick cave and the bad seeds, merry pranksters the hermitage the pointer
sisters the tories the establishment the mechanism tim rothlasdhngk
By the way, if anyone has stayed with me long enough,
for summer send-off, Pierre Boulez is still alive. And his wife. And their kids. And my aunts. And Gerard Depardieu.
And the smell of the rolling hills of Ireland in the spring. And athlete's foot, squeezin' and wheezin' providing
knox county with quality polka since at least my sophmore year, and vidal sassoon, and martin heidegger, leonard
nimoy, rollo groat, marcus garvey, the boo-yaa tribe, spike jones, harpsichord madness, romantic sunrises, giorgio
moroder, women flocking, a rupture in the carborator, billy elliot unstuck in time, great mountains of ointment,
oleo, john olerud, mayo, marsupials, widgets, wordplays, waldo emersons tim rothalsehgdahn,sdrfmhelcnhetk
I apologize for leading you, the impressionable masses, astray. It
was early in the morning, but no, I will not make excuses for the wrong that I have done. So, just to say it one
more time (Jonathan told me that he has already informed you, the noble yet deceived Kenyon Community, though I
don't actually know if he did or not, since the VAX is withholding all of my email. I stay true). Tonight's movie
is
NOT ?UY HERMANO, DONDE ESTAS?
but rather
BLOOD SIMPLE
by Ethan and Joel Coen
Saturday, December 1
Higley Auditorium
8ish.
Their quite worthy directorial debut. This one is on DVD. I do not know whether or not O BROTHER WHERE ART THOU
is on DVD, so it may well be that we have not even the option of seeing, and I repeat this tired gag one more time
so that you can lament either our limited options or the tiredness of this gag, ?UY HERMANO, DONDE ESTAS?.
I repent for my evil ways,
Seth
It never ceases to amaze us how "Entertainment Weekly"
manages to be completely wrong about just about everything they review.
Case in point:
When it was first released, "EW" actually gave O BROTHER, WHERE ART THOU? an F. Yes, you read that correctly.
An F. The same magazine that gave URBAN LEGENDS: FINAL CUT a C and FREDDY GOT FINGERED a D-minus, also gave O BROTHER
WHERE ART THOU? an F.
Alas, George Clooney never even chews through a newborn's umbilical cord as he's loosely re-enacting THE ODYSSEY,
nor does John Tuturro don a fencing mask and a hooded leather trenchcoat, two comparative exemplars of fine cinema.
KFS
O BROTHER, WHERE ART THOU?
WEDNESDAY, 10:15 PM
HIGLEY AUDITORIUM
First off, it's the Coen Brothers. You know it's good. Even if they never actually did read THE ODYSSEY, they got
most of the big points in there.
Secondly, this is unquestionably the best movie that KFS has shown all semester. And, unlike "Entertainment
Weekly," we are never wrong.
Thirdly, this movie is filled with music so good that not even the Tim McGraw obsessed CMA awards could not ignore
it.
Fourthly, George Clooney uses the word "succubis" appropriately.
Fifthly... well, there are oh so many reasons to love O BROTHER, WHERE ART THOU?
As a nameless, blind man says, you will see many fantastical things, wonderous to behold... you will see:
-A cow, on the roof of a cotton-house.
-The one-handed general at Frances' military academy on MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE, wearing a kickass pair of reflective
sunglasses.
-Pie theft.
-Holly Hunter count to three.
-The best and most beligerrently exploitative use of a midget sidekick since the late Joe C... Hell, we'd argue
that he's funnier than Mini-Me.
-A whole gopher village.
-The concept of "sensuality," perfectly captured on film in what is possibly the Coen Brothers' best
sequence ever.
-A Bible-thumping Cyclops who isn't fond of frogs.
-George Clooney in a hairnet.
-A happy little tire swing.
-The use of a congregation of Free-Will Baptists that's so deft that even Brother Ken would approve.
That George Clooney... he lip-synchs even better than Britney Spears (whose new album "Entertainment Weekly"
gave a B, proving that their lack of taste is not confined exclusively to film).
And it's the penultimate KFS film for the semester. Repent, ye sinners, before 'tis everlasting too late!
Men of only brief lapses of sorrow,
Jonathan and Seth!
Dear Kenyon,
My sagacious co-president has, in my opinion, taken advantage of your normal sheepish acceptance of his humanly-ordained
authority to decree that "O BROTHER WHERE ART THOU?" is "unquestionably best movie we have shown
all semester". Not that I don't take advantage of this mouse-like silence as well for my own personal gain
and the gain of the rest those involved in the conspiracy. In fact, the reason he has put "unquestionably"
could in fact point to this sort of preterite-elite relationship of yall to we KFS Fuhrers. As one of the greatest
political theorists of the twentieth century or perhaps not has stated, power is only mustered at the consent of
the people--one can be strong without having power, and authority is based on common acceptance, its overthrow
brought into being by contempt, its greatest enemy being laughter. Maybe this is not the best thing to tell you.
But, as another brilliant man has told us, or perhaps he is not so brilliant, everything is questionable and is
brought about because of historical cirumstances, nothing is inherent, it is all arbitray, from authority to writing
styles to ends of slowly acquired power, and hence, the fact that my illustrious and honorable KFS co-conspirator
has claimed "UY HERMANO" to be the best film we have shown all semester is due to the various discourses
he has been exposed to in his locale, in his family, as a result of a barrage of childhood experiences. This is
the same reason Aileen Minihan thinks that "HAROLD AND MAUDE" is the best film that we have shown all
semester, and I "BRAZIL". Indeed, there is every reason to believe that
THE FINAL KFS SURPRISE FILM
Dir. >>>>????
Saturday, December 8
Higley Auditorium
8:00
could be, with the appropriate social influences that will be instated when all our forces have acheived their
separate objectives, be "unquestionably the best movie that we have shown all semester".
Indeed, within the traditional Western conception of "classic", there is every reason for even people
of our ideological dispositions to believe that a film (such as that which we are subjecting you to) with such
a wide scope, historical outlook, summary of Western Civilization up to the point of its making, political aspirations,
and philosophical relevance, can accept this film as perhaps the high water mark of cinema. Of course, with a vastly
different cultural perspective, this film could leave one befuddled and led to state that it is "unquestionably
not the best movie that we have shown all semester". When I say that, say, Mira Sorvino has not been in a
good movie since "Mighty Aphrodite", that of the Back to the Futures, III does not meet the artistic
vision of II, that Camp Lo's "Uptown Saturday Night" was much more worthy than many other albums in 1997,
or that Squeezin' and Wheezin', that hot polka band that was at the crafts fair, should play Summer Send-off, it
is the result of years of experience and ideological moulding that has resulted in my ability to discriminate as
such. As one of the great minds of the nineties or perhaps not so great mind of the fifties (according to disposition
and accepted calendar) has commented "That's just, like, you're opinion, man."
However, as we all were whupped with the values of this the society we were born into, I would think that this
would be unlikely to happen, and I think that you will find many people feel the same as I do, many benevolent
people, whose cui bono is only to help out the malleable masses to which you belong, so that we may lead them forward
to a time of greater understanding, and not just mere subjection for selfish reasons such as power being its own
end, handy access to women, everybody being crazy about a sharp-dressed man, etc. I feel that this film rewards
the viewer as it sounds out the idols that to which we have been subjected in our youth, which are touched here
with a hammer as with a tuning fork, as said a great philosopher who according to a whole 'nother set of qualifications
is most likely bollocks right before he did promptly. Or as two ignored minds but perhaps quite eloquent or not
have posited "High culture! Low Culture! High Culture! Low Culture! Wank! Wank! Wank! Wank!". These quotes
and allusions, though they look superfluous and here to make me look like I have some kind of cultural capital
that is completely constructed to maintain the authority of certain people and institutions, may well grant you
access to knowledge of the surprise final film, some of them, and is not just some sort of powerhungry complex,
believe me. Even when I say "The Soviet leading clique is a mere dust heap," is better expressed, perhaps,
as "I am king of the mushroom men! ha ha ha/ ha ha ha..." I mean to point you to the vicinity of truth,
though you must realize that truth is relative, and that all of this is coming from my own personal lexicon of
signs which you can never truly possess, as I yours with special resources that will soon be at my hands.
The stark raving sane KFS tyrants seeks not to deceive you, but slowly gain your trust and acceptance, we are no
blood-sucking monsters,
Seth and Jonathan